Fundamentalist Preacher at Shoney’s

Picture of fightin fundamentalist Jack Hyles

I was at Shoney’s restaurant with a bunch of Single church folks in the eighties when this tall republican looking man in a suit and tie came up to our table and said,”Are you shhhaved brother?” Well he actually said saved but it sounded like shaved. I said, Well not lately.” I had a full beard then. “Do you know Jeeesuz? he said as he looked us straight in the eye. “Well, Yes! I said. “Did you ask him to come into your heart and be your personal Lord and Savior?’ he smiled. I said,”I did not know we had to make him anything? I said knowing full well what he was saying but I played along. “You are not saved because you have that long hair and beard.” he said. I said,”Didn’t Jesus have long hair and a beard? He looked mad and said, “No, Jesus had a crew-cut!” I thought a fifties Jesus and not James Dean or Elvis. The fundamentalist preacher went on about having standards and about the evils of alcohol and cigarettes. “Didn’t Jesus turn water into wine?” I asked him. “No it was fermented!”. I eventually gave up on this guy who thought we were all going to hell because we did not believe like he did. We were a little shock because we were in Shoneys on a Sunday night and the majority of the customers were Baptists, Charismatics, Pentecostals and maybe a few Methodists and one or two Calvinists. There was not a drop of alcohol in the bunch. Well, maybe later.

~ by Rich on October 8, 2007.